What is Wrong?

This weekend brought sad and worrying news from Finland, my country of origin. On Friday, yet another  domestic killing spree took place. When the police came to inform a wife of her husband's death in a car crash they found the wife and two small children, already dead. This was the seventh case within a year of a parent, usually the father, killing the rest of the family and then most often himself. What is wrong in Finland?

A week or so before, there was yet another close-call at a Finnish school... a student entered carrying a gun, but this time no one was seriously injured (facts straight?).

Also this past weekend, 16 or so skinheads started a gun battle in an industrial part of town not far from my own Helsinki suburb.

Also in the news is that a certain Helena Eronen, the aid to one of Finland's most controversial members of parliament, may be fired from her job for suggesting all foreigners should wear an armband. "A crescent moon for Muslims," "a land mine for Cambodians"... (She actually mentions Cambodians - wonder how that came up!? Not many Khmer in Finland.) Whether she meant is as a joke or satire, or not, the debate that's ensued shows how current and sensitive interethnic issues are in the country today. I did go to her actual now-removed (from chat site) -and-replaced (to employer's site) blog entry and to be fair I have to point out that she does suggest arm bands for political party members too. Hence a touch of satire. But, all in all there's not much to laugh about, even the idea itself of armbands in the context of ethnicity and/or religion brings to mind the days leading to the Holocaust. Never again.


But what about the family killings. How can that be stopped? What should and could be done to prevent it from happening ever again? What could have been done better now? What is the first step? What can neighbors, family members, teachers, friends, the police, the social services, the government, do...?

It sickens me to read about these incidents, actually all of the ones I mentioned above but above all the killings by parent(s) of little children. Looking at my sleeping sons, I absolutely cannot imagine how bad things could have been for a parent to choose such evil.

And how much should one try to imagine/understand what happened?

I mentioned before that one of the very many things that interest me intellectually is criminal psychology. I haven't written a blog entry on that subject once. The reason is that it does intellectually interest me but emotionally I find it repulsive. I read that Geir Lippestad, the defense lawyer for Norway's Utøya killer, did not initially want to accept the job that offered to him. He talked it over with his wife who said if he won't do it someone else has to as this mass murderer has to be brought to trial. Now that the trial has started the lawyer said the preparations have been exhausting and that he feels 'as if (he'd) lost his soul.' That is the danger of looking into true evil. The road back requires a lot of healing. I wonder how criminal psychologists cope?

Relating to this, last week my husband and I watched an thought stirring movie, Sunset Limited, starring Samuel L. Jackson and Tommy Lee Jones, and written by Cormac McCarthy. If you've seen The Road, you may be properly braced for McCarthy's tone... In Sunset Limited, 'Black' attempts to talk 'White' out of jumping in front of a train, the Sunset Limited. It really is an excellent depiction of faith vs. desperation, good vs. evil, and second chances. The script is deeply loaded and the actors are absolutely fantastic. Without spoiling the ending, 'Black's' attempt to turn 'White' around touches on many of the issues I've raised here... What is wrong, how can it be stopped, what could be done?

Living in Cambodia as a mother of small children, there are a couple of days to each week that I don't want to read or hear about Cambodian news. What I read from the media reports is that this country is plagued by family turmoil of a different sort. Unfortunately domestic killings do happen here as well like they do in most societies, but 'the plague' seems to be child abuse. Every time I read the newspaper there are short, one paragraph long, reports of little, and I mean little (3-13 year olds), children being raped by neighbors or fellow village men. Absolutely awful. Thankfully there are many communities fighting this and doing their best to help those children.

But this weekend, for the first time while living in Cambodia, I felt that I'm glad I don't live in Finland right now. The news this weekend just brought about a sense of gloom, something similar to what I feel when reading these local news of rape. Here it's good to ask how much is the media to be 'blamed' for this, in other words does the media give too much attention to these incidents that, some may argue, may even exacerbate the problem ('suicide is infectious,' debate)... I'm not sure that blocking the reporting of horrendous 'small' news would be the answer but limiting the amount of media coverage may. Based on the three Finnish news sites I regularly follow, I would say there's already quite a bit 'on air' of what doesn't need to be said, not yet at least. What I refer to is: speculation. Rumors. Misleading headlines. In contrast, the discussion that's taking place on another site seems to me 'better.' For very obvious reasons I'll mention in a moment, this discussion is at the root of the issue: realizing the shock but walking with those now most affected. Why this site? The father of the murdered woman, grandfather of the two murdered girls (aged 3 and 1), is a blogger on that site and he, a priest himself, wrote about what had happened very soon after he'd found out (the police were still at his house)...

Goes to show that the internet and blogging specifically are true loci of human interaction - blogging in real time, with raw emotion, creating an avalanche of reactions, and most significantly, on this site, a cocoon of support, prayer, and caring.

How to transport that sense of community from the internet to the face-to-face Finland of today? Can the 'old' (mythological?) sense of community be revived? I find this such an emotionally and socially pressing as well as intellectually interesting question that I might have to move back to Finland for it. Like many doubters of development and missionary work ask, why go far when there's so much that needs to be done near? My usual answer is that those faraway are equally our sisters and brothers. But what my mom said some time ago comes to mind: the atmosphere in Finland has gotten colder and it's not just the physical temperature but the social one. Again, what is wrong? How do we stop this? What can I do?