Kids and Academic Careers - Yes, We Can!

Working on my new job as a gender awareness advisor at an NGO (I love what I do!!), I came across an interesting bit of research conducted on the challenges for women in accomodating an academic career with life as a mother. It's explained below but in short, it's not true that the combination would be rare or impossible. On the contrary, it seems having kids empowers women to go for that ideal career as well! Yes, we can!

This research analyzed the careers of women in sociology...

"Much of the literature on work/family issues in academia suggest that women with children have a harder time maintaining an ideal career because of the difficulty of combining work and family activities, both of which are regarded as “greedy institutions” This research finds that women with children are equally likely to pursue ideal careers as men with children, childless men, and more likely to pursue these careers than childless women. In fact, according to the results of a regression analysis, women with children are significantly more likely to pursue ideal careers if they are provided with resources such as travel money and research assistance."

https://workfamily.sas.upenn.edu/wfrn-repo/object/r6lr6q1fp6k4xh38

The Hardest Job

... in the world is parenting. That's what they say. I just read the heartrending article written by a mom of a mentally disturbed son. I recommend reading it, it speaks volumes: http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother

Soul Music

My favorite song of the moment is Comptine d'Un Autre Été by Yann Tiersen. Many of you will remember this song from the movie Amelie. I loved the movie and I'm sure the soundtrack spoke to me but I truly heard this song this September. My family and I participated in a music school matinee and the piano teacher played this. I nearly burst out crying from being so touched by the song. I think I've mentioned this here before but I don't usually cry publicly but this time it was close. My soul was bursting but a positively emotional way. Some songs do that.

Other songs I've loved in a soul-bursting way, in no particular order...

Ennio Morricone - Gabriel's Oboe

Kent - 747, FF, Dom Andra

Lauryn Hill - Zion

The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

Janet Jackson - Got 'Til It's Gone, If

Michael W. Smith - You Are Holy (Prince of Peace)

Robbie Williams - No Regrets

Faith No More - Easy

Aretha Franklin - I Say A Little Prayer

Stone Temple Pilots - Plush

U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday, Beautiful Day, One, Miss Sarajevo

The Corrs - Radio

Ronan Keating - Life is a Roller Coaster


I'd call these my soul songs. The list goes on of course. As for the Soundtrack of My Life, well, that's much more cacophonic ;)

I don't know what these songs do for you, if they do anything for that matter, but if you listened to them you'll have glimpsed into me.

These Guys Never Showed Up

Last time I posted about Obama's upcoming visit. Well, he was here as far as photos prove. I had no connection to his visit whatsoever except that a) we hibernated at home as planned in order to avoid traffic jams and police, b) our nanny got stuck in traffic jams caused by police and Obama's convoy. 

Considering that even the international press was 'gently escorted' in and out of ASEAN meetings, I can't complain of feeling left out. I mean even Obama's speech here was given behind closed doors since the media was escorted out of the conference room at that stage... Talk about an anticlimax. 

But, like I said, I can't complain. Especially since I'm not Mike and he's got a reason to complain. Mike's the guy behind Mike's Burger House, a good old burger joint here in Phnom Penh. Today's Cambodia Daily had an interesting article about how Mike, a Khmer-American, had been visited by the secret service a couple of weeks back because, it turned out, Obama would have wanted to drop by for a meal. How cool is that! You have to take into account that this joint that definitely makes a juicy burger is just one of many gastronomically pleasing locations in town. On the downside it's right next to a big gas station. On the upside maybe it makes it more authentic for car-enthused Americans. And on the very realistic side, it's a Khmer-American enterprise, a successful business, AND on route from the airport to the Peace Palace where ASEAN meetings took place. 

Unfortunately this story takes a sad(-ish) turn here since president Obama didn't have time to stop at Mike's after all. All that fuss, all for nothing! Secret service visits and all! Imagine the excitement in the kitchen in the past weeks! And the letdown. Well, with US presidents I'd take few detours for granted so honestly you can't be too shocked, Mike, by this outcome. And apparently duty calls, there's the Middle Eastern crisis to solve. But that's another story.

ps. At least Obama was here. Can't say the same for Putin or Hu Jintao who were, by some reports, expected to join the meetings. Since it appears neither showed up I had to correct an article I had submitted to a Finnish newspaper only yesterday. I'd gambled by writing down those two names as having come, thinking the odds were surely in my favor. But no, the party's over, and 'only' Wen Jiabao came. Good old Wen. 

Like I said, the party's over. Back to hectic PP traffic. Back to Mike's. Back to street kids, hopefully soon released from the centers they were swept into.

Obama's Coming to Town

So there's a definitely buzz in Phnom Penh now. The 21st ASEAN meeting started today and it is bringing some of the world's most influential people to town. Presidents Obama, Putin, and Hu Jintao if you've ever heard of them. I have to say that Obama's US presidency and notably his very recent reelection are stealing the show in that it took me a moment to realize that "some other" presidents may be involved as well. Everyone's talking about Obama's arrival and the standstill his presence will cause on normal life for any and all Phnom Penhers. But we should blame a couple of the other attendees for this inconvenience, just for the sake of fairness. I'm sure Putin wants a couple of luxurious hotel rooms (and floors and whole 5 star hotels...) for himself. And I can see Hu Jintao might be pretty keen on security details when he's outside of Beijing. I could be wrong though. Or not ;)

As fun as it might be to participate in this historical coming together of nations (as a participant in the meetings or even as a bystander on the airport road) I'm thinking of hibernating at home with the boys instead. Couch-potato politics. I even went as far as to inform my older son's kindergarten that I won't be bringing him to class on Monday (Obama Day) and possibly even Tuesday (Lesser Obama Day). The prospect of jumping into a tuktuk with my soon-1 and soon-4 year old boys and trying to cut through gridlock traffic at 7 am... is not that thrilling. Or actually it's overly thrilling and I prefer a tad more certainty of reaching my desired destination in, say, max. 1.5 hours of exhaust fume inhalation and bumpy road travel (it should take 30 min so let's assume I'd tolerate an extra hour). And I do want to be certain that I will be able to pick up my son at the appointed time and not hours later. Besides, from the ASEAN map it seems our routes are pretty much blocked to town. If we can't cross the airport road which lies between us and the city center, well, then it's hibernation and tv. Oh, and Air Force One spotting!! We may be cut off from town but we happen to be on the flight landing route...

How to Dissect a Sea Urchin

I'm watching Masterchef US 3 and hence sea urchin dissection. Never tried sea urchin but it seems to be in at the moment since it's not the first time I come across the spiky delicacy on TV. Maybe I should try it... Maybe.

I'm actually planning a sea or ocean theme for my baby's first birthday party ;) Maybe we'll do a game of faux-urchin dissection for the older guests! I need to put my creative hat on and see what I come up with. I've been inspired by my American friend here who creates amazing theme parties. She did a puppy theme for her son's birthday and a ballerina one for her daughter. And it's not just blue-for-boys and pink-for-girls but she created 'dog bones' out of pretzel sticks and marshmallows and served them out of real dog bowls (new of course)! And for her daughter each cupcake had a dancing Angelina Ballerina figure on top. It's not over the top, it's really creative and as cool as kiddy parties can be! I love hosting and I love doing creative stuff but I usually don't combine them to a great degree. I'm trying to cut down on the hosting bit now in the sense of delegating catering (cake order) and limiting food items (just cake, pop corn and drinks) so that I'd actually have the time and energy for some more fun creative stuff as well.

I'll give a report with photos, I promise. 

;)

Changes in the Air

Wah, it's taken weeks to get back to blogging. And now I'm feeling the time pressure in that I have only 2.5 weeks until I go back to work...! Got to blog, blog, blog! Then again so many other things to do, including concentrate on this phase of life of being Full Time Mommy. And next to that to reorient myself to the working world, specifically get myself up to date on what I'm a Specialist on ;) Not feeling too torn between these 'demands' though since I'm a firm believer that there will always be work to be done no matter how much you do work. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to have my pencils sharpened and notebooks in order before Day 1 at the office. But still. My baby is just turning 1 this upcoming Monday. These are special days.

The Thing About Blogging...

Is that it's addictive. Maybe I've written about that before but that's another thing about blogging, I don't always recall what I've written (but maybe that's just me). When I get into the vibe I'm blogging all the time but mostly in my head. I think of exciting topics and witty titles. Usually I don't get as far as actually posting them online. That's the mommy syndrome of being needed 24/7 but that again is a whole different story.

Things That Make Me Go Aaargh!

Public complaint over breastfeeding in public, especially after the fact. Oh come on, when did breast milk become equated with other bodily fluids/solids? Why would babies, who are completely dependent on others for their survival, not be allowed to feed in the same surroundings as other human beings, ie. kitchen, living room, restaurant, or cafe? A baby care room, or bedroom, why not. But a toilet, especially a public one, is as disgusting in thought as in practice. I can't believe Finns are so estranged from (human) nature that breastfeeding, namely the location for, is under debate. A couple of days ago, a group of moms in Helsinki organized a flash mob of breastfeeding at the central railway station. Not an event I would necessarily join since I have no interest in public feeding per se, but reading people's online comments about the event made me, well, angry. I can understand, and agree, with people's wish to avoid bare boobs everywhere but when it comes to the most fundamental need of a baby... let's just put it this way that fundamental needs for survival come before societal preferences. Especially here in the developing world, you cannot expect - or ever want to suggest - that mothers would go feed their babies in public toilets or 'out of public view' (what is that anyway, a dark alley!?). First of all, encouraging poor mothers to breastfeed is crucially important. It saves lives! Breast milk is always clean. It is always properly 'mixed' ie. it's not dangerously diluted with filthy water. It's (usually) always available. For free. It saves money and it saves lives. Now, as great as breastfeeding is, public toilets (or any sort of toilets) are not the place to take a baby here (nor elsewhere). First of all, it's usually horribly hot so the liquid you're providing your baby with is only enough to balance out with the amount the baby's losing in sweat while feeding. Secondly, toilets are filthy, especially here in the tropics. Thirdly, there aren't many public toilets around in the first place. Fourth, dark wet spaces attract disease carrying mosquitos, including ones that spread potentially lethal malaria and dengue. Aargh!! To answer your possible question, yes, I've breastfed in nasty toilets here and elsewhere. And each time I come out feeling the greater fool for succumbing to social pressure (usually of my imagination, only). It is such a fundamental issue. Babies first!

Death of Cambodia's Grandfather King

Two nights ago Cambodia's former king Norodom Sihanouk passed away at the age of 89. Sources say he died of a heart attack in Beijing where he had been living for years receiving treatment for cancer. His body was flown back to Phnom Penh yesterday afternoon with thousands of people gathered along the capital's streets to pay their respects to their respected king. 

www.guardian.co.uk 

www.newyorker.com

Orange Ghost Town

Phnom Penh is almost eerily quiet as the country celebrates P'chum Ben, one of its most important Buddhist festivities. Basically it's a 15 day period where families remember their loved ones who have passed away and pay their respects to ancestors. This coming Monday and Tuesday are public holidays so most people spend the long weekend out of town, in their native villages (locals) or at a holiday destination (foreigners). Throughout the two weeks, families visit wats, or Buddhist temples, and give offerings of food to the monks. On every street corner you can see ready-made offering hampers, filled with everything from soft drinks to cookies. It's easy enough buying one of those pastel-colored cellophane-wrapped baskets but many families also cook full meals to give to the monks. It's quite a sight at the wat to watch tens of monks in their orange robes sitting on the floor eating, while the women who have cooked sit against the walls watching. Most women dress in traditional silk skirts and lace shirts. It's a visually inspiring scene.

This year we're spending P'chum Ben very quietly ourselves. After all, the most relaxing break is the easiest break and staying at home can't be beat on that front! ;) So relaxing... making no plans whatsoever. This morning the boys, the dog, and I took a long walk in the quiet neighborhood, admiring butterflies. Brown, orange, and yellow butterflies, all over. Beautiful. As my older son says, "sun colored."

Orange. The sun. Appreciation. Family.

Political Activation

A part of me wishes I could vote in the upcoming US presidential elections. Simply because I have made my choice over candidates and currently follow the presidential as well as vice presidential debates with (moderate) interest. Another congruent argument for my vote is that US presidential elections impact the world. Shouldn't we all be heard about what we have to say about the potential leader of the world's superpower? As a member of the human race I have something to say about what happens in my backyard, let's just put it that way.

There is truth, and a point, in confessing that I followed my own nation's presidential race with the same amount of interest. Not fervent, not even diligent. Being an anthropologist, participant observation would probably be the best fitting term. I observe (as opposed to e.g., lobbying) and I participated (cast my vote into Finland). Looking back at how the last elections went in Finland, I missed out on quite a bit by not being in the country at the time. There was nearly unprecedented public activism that the second runner-up stirred during the last days before the voting. I'm sure the hype affected the votes of quite a few, in favor of the guy who, despite that, didn't win. Anyway, the world will seem different if the next years are Obama years or Romney ones. Even though I can't vote for one or the other, this time I'd like to be a bit prepared. I want to know at least the basic facts about these candidates, and read a bit about their personal stories. Who are they?

I felt proud when Finland elected Tarja Halonen, a woman, as president in 2000. I felt elated when I watched Obama's inauguration ceremony in 2009. It was a Tuesday, January 20. (I just checked!) I remember sitting on our old blue couch with my first born son, only 2.5 weeks old, in my arms and thinking he has been born into a special time in world history. The first black president had just been chosen to lead the United States.

So with a touch of personal history at play I look at these US elections with some emotion. I don't have a sense of who Mitt Romney is yet. And Obama and I go a long(er) way ;) And now that I hear he, Obama, is on his way to visit my city of current residence (Phnom Penh) next month (!!), I'm pretty excited for team Obama. I then noticed with self-cycling interest that I take criticism against the man a tad personally! Whoever's going to blame the President better have their facts straight, is all I'm saying.

Until I realized it's not my vote. If the American people want to elect the reincarnation of Walt Disney, it's their fundamental right to do so. How would I feel and react if my, say, Chinese friends told me that my favorite Finnish presidential candidate was a joke? Probably with a "it's none of your business" reply. So follow elections with interest - yes. Get all wound up in emotional debate with American friends - no. To back my decision, I did not comment on a friend's strange anti-Biden Facebook comment. Though I'm still tempted to...!

Anyway, the actual difference between the real-time presidential decision-making may not end up being so huge between Mitt and Barack, a source of mine says. Romney's not Bush after all. And my focus is mainly on foreign policy, anyway. My Republican friends may have a reason to be fed up with Obama's national issues, I honestly don't know.

Should I know? I don't even know that. But what I do know is that none of us, not one of us on Earth, should downplay our power to influence. Caught in the middle of the day-to-day grind, it's so easy to focus so closely on what is immediately in front of us that we don't look up and see the larger picture. Sometimes all it takes is a glance at the horizon, a short daydream, or the decision to go ahead and try.

It doesn't have to be party membership or even a visible public role. But human interaction always involves a degree of power and influence, over our children, towards our friends, our neighbors... The key, I think, is to think about how we do that. What do we want to pass on to our kids on the daily scale, what is the legacy we want to leave on the "horizon" scale?

Dream Team

I have several things in common with two of the world's most influential people. Firstly, I'm a person ;) I live in the World. Not influential though. Or influential to a limited degree (more on that later).

Who are these two persons of influence? Two men - unfortunately, since I'd love to claim this link of influence to at least one woman (will have to work on that and search harder).

Barack Obama and Jim Yong Kim. Respectively, the president of the United States (as I hope you are aware) and president of the World Bank (you really should know this one too).

What do we have in common?

Jim Yong Kim was born in Seoul, South Korea. I lived in Seoul as a kid!!
Jim Yong Kim is an anthropologist (and a physician). I have a master's in anthropology too!! (He has a PhD.)

So exciting!









Going on to Obama.

Barack Obama lived in Jakarta, Indonesia, as a kid. So did I, as a teenager!
Barack Obama's mother was an anthropologist...







See? We are the Dream Team ;)

Down Under

"A Little Bit Sensitive"

Today I came across this well-written article about land disputes in Cambodia. As Andrew Higgins of The Washington Post writes draining the lake has caused a lot of commotion here in Phnom Penh. We don't live very far from this now deserted area and in fact pass by every time we head downtown. Since we moved to Cambodia only in 2009 we never saw the "lake" in its original aquatic state. It's been a muddy demolition site. Now it's a desert, and a strange sight to behold at that. One thing that really struck me in this article was the estimation that it could take as long as 10 years (I repeat, ten years) for the now-desert to dry up sufficiently for the building to commence. As a source states in this article, this whole Chinese-funded project is "a little bit sensitive," for many reasons. To be fair, though, the situation is even more complex than the article lets on. It's not the Chinese who are the bad guy. There are worldwide corporate interests that tear at Cambodia, a fledgling state in comparison.

Sunset Photography

As you know I'm quite into photography. I apply my general attitude to life to this hobby as well. I find it enjoyable, challenging, and exciting, and I'd happily master it. I'm ready to put work into it but with this one (photography, that is) I'm not going to stress about the details. Sure, I'll read the manual to my new camera when I get to it. But no, I'm not going to get excited enough to want to know minute technical details. I like to 'shoot and run,' test my chances. If it turns out nice, great. If it's not so great, I'll press the other button next time. ;)

Here's a shot of the September sunset at Nambucca Heads, Australia. I personally really like this shot. I got a bit upset with my hubby over this photo, though, as his first comment was 'why did you take a photo of that couple, we don't even know them!' Arrrrrgh! To any aspiring amateur photographer like myself, it's obvious why - for the photo op, for the feel of it, for the ART!! I kind of like how the sun bazookas through the guys head... Something about this photo that's unearthly. Maybe my husband shared that feeling and worries I may have caught a glimpse of aliens...

Here my hubby, who by the way also enjoys photography as in taking photos himself, commented that I should have used the sunset mode on our new Lumix (fabulous camera, btw!!!). Another arggh moment. I should absolutely NOT have used the sunset mode, I say. If I'd follow the manual and proper photography instructions, I would by all means use the sunset mode. But it shows me the sun, too clearly. There's no ethereal light seeping into each pixel. Frankly boring! I love the feeling I caught in this shot.

And I would even go as far as not pressing 'Sunset' on this shot as well. The sun rules!

What do you think?

Going Back to Work

I'm off to the office tomorrow! I've got a meeting with my soon to be partner as well as the local leaders of our organization. Since I'm not officially starting work but just showing my face, networking, and throwing together some ideas it's not like I'm really on the job yet. But, getting there slowly (I start in 2 months) and taking the first step tomorrow. Strange since I'm feeling so relaxed about it. Let's see what my take on it will be tomorrow: inspired excitement, heart accelerating anticipation, or budding stress? ;)

Ps. Yes, taking Baby along ;) So much for so-called adult time... It'll be the best, or worst, of two worlds overlapping!

Results of Tom Hanks Experience

As I promised, I went out and bought "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" on DVD yesterday. Since I couldn't wait to get started with it and even evenings don't guarantee uninterrupted movie experiences, I started watching while Baby was napping. I finished watching by today's second naptime. Here are the results.

I very much recommend it! It is a beautiful movie with excellent performances, notably by the little boy (who's name I don't recall, sorry). The film does manage to do justice to the incredibly (loud and close) incredible novel. I still recommend the novel, of course, as often anyway happens when you've read the book first and only then seen the movie. But this novel is so different in form, and so heart breaking as a story.

Tom Hanks? He was great but I wouldn't say he was perfect. I'd say he was near perfect. He definitely had an amazing vibe, really gave the impression of being a wonderful, committed father. However, I had not pictured anyone at all resembling Tom Hanks in any way when reading the novel. I haven't thought of who'd I'd have cast instead... Someone tall, dark, more aloof, but as wonderfully committed. Someone more Ben Affleck-y. Not that it matters, really.

I found Sandra Bullock amazing. She had Oscar potential again. Also the transformation of her collapsing mother into caring and present one was believable and very touching.

I'd forgotten what the key unlocks! That was a bonus to seeing the film.

All in all, one of the stories of the century, I think. Read it and see it!! 

6 Languages by 5

Is it too much to be learning 6 languages by age 5? Simultaneously?

That's the situation our elder son is facing.

#1
Age 0-10 months: Finnish, mother tongue

#2 & #3
Age 10 months onwards: Finnish at home, Khmer at home through cleaner and nanny,  English at home whenever international friends visit, and both Khmer and English in the surrounding environment (while living in Cambodia).

#4
Age 3.5 yrs: French once a week at kindergarten.

#5 & #6
Next year at age 4.5 yrs: Mandarin Chinese lessons at kindergarten and Cantonese from the surrounding environment when our family moves to Hong Kong.

...oh my...

I'm the first to admit that this is too much though quite awesome if he does manage well with the transitions. My main criteria for judging 'success' in this linguistic whirlwind is that he a) comes to speak his mother tongue fluently (which is getting there but all the time there's a risk of delayed learning) b) manages in English.

I thought I was quite the whizkid when I struggled and overcame the challenge of learning English in one single semester at age 8. My family moved to Asia for the first time and I started an international school only speaking 2 words of English ('yes' and 'no'). Even at that age when kids supposedly sponge up any odd language they're exposed to I found the prospect seriously daunting. It was a struggle that involved some bitter tears, to be honest. But, after those first hard months it was already worth it, and soon developed into something like a piece of cake. Delicious but when in excess, punishing.

So no, this is not a regimen of language learning I would recommend to anyone. Dealing with this cacophony of languages is just a part of expat life. Some languages you'll pick up and take with you. Others only become familiar to the extent of classification ability, being able to pick out which language it is (e.g., Cantonese as opposed to Mandarin).

I'm not stressing too much about kindergarten French or Mandarin, for that matter. If he picks up some of it, great. If not, fine. Singing songs in French sounds okay though I did initially worry whether there's even harm in his taking on this extra language. C'est cool. After all, Pig Latin, I recall, was quite a blast to master too.

Counting Blessings or Scares

The fact is that life with small kids is intense. Though many days can pass by in parent-dulling and child-stabilizing repetition of routines, other days are incredibly accident prone. Stuff just happens, or nearly happens. It's such a bizarre polarity, come to think of it. Building sand castles day-in day-out seems like the norm until it's one of those every-hour critical-hour days.

Yesterday, for one, we were visiting friends and I shadowed Baby with each army-style crawl move he took. Being a Good 'n Vigilant Mom (on this day at that particular hour), I noticed right away that he pincer grasped something into his mouth. I thought it was a piece of dried grass (logical, un-panicky mom). It turned out to be a 1 cm times 0.5 cm triangle of very sharp plastic. Oh my God!! (Yes, the panicky mom, big time).

Conclusion:
Thank God I was vigilant and got it out of his mouth in time. No damage done, this stuff happens, could have been bad but the outcome was good. Input bad, output good. Something like that.

Today, for a second example, I had to quickly vacuum downstairs. "Quickly" since I was alone with the boys and "vacuum" since the dog's shedding loads. Vacuum kitchen, done. Vacuum living room (note: around the corner), almost done when I notice Big Boy crying (again for umpteenth time). I glance back to the kitchen again and in a micro-second go over "What's Wrong with the Picture." What was wrong was that instead of sitting in his high chair, strapped in, Baby Boy was sitting on top of his high chair feeding tray (the Ikea model). What!!? How did that happen?? Crazy stuff.

Half a heart attack later, Baby Boy was successfully and safely in loving motherly arms.

Lesson. Don't turn around for 1 second. Monitor at 50 cm face-to-face distance at all times. It's that development stage again. The 'arsenic' months, instead of the Arsenic Hours (when most accidents occur, between 4-7 pm).

Vigilance is key. Reason for many panicky moments and general stress. But for now I'll focus not on the what-ifs but on the 'we made its!'

The Tom Hanks Factor

You know how there are certain A-list actors who completely divide opinion? Well, in our household Tom Hanks is such a fellow. Like Nicholas Cage, Tom Hanks is not a crowd pleaser for half of the adults here. It's not that those two gentleman haven't starred in some excellent movies since both of us admit they have. There's just something that dilutes our interest in the film if either name is in the credits. The so-called, now-called, Tom Hanks Factor.

So my interest has now been stirred since I hear from one of my most reliable sources that Tom's latest film,'Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close,' does justice to the deeply touching novel. Until now I've felt undecided about wanting to see the movie because I've assumed that as touching as Tom truly can be his presence would ruin the movie for me. And anyway my hubby had said no, he's not watching (need it be said that this TH Factor bug, I caught it from him). There's just a bit too much of TH in all his movies, is what it is. It's not TH as this or that, but TH in this or that. And since something in the depths of my soul was stirred by this novel, having TH's star power outshine the harrowing anonymity of the story ('it could be anyone') felt - and feels- like a big risk for a big letdown.

But, as I trust my source, I will bravely go acquire this movie on DVD. And report back.

Sleep Aids

What helps a child fall asleep? (And yes, often help is needed for without aids falling asleep can take hours. Out of parental 'own-time'...)

Baths, evening snacks, bedtime reading, soothing music, singing lullabies, etc.

But as far as props go...

Tonight: 

- Big Boy: currently cuddling the softest toy bunny

- Baby Boy: currently in close proximity to pacifier

Last night:

- Baby Boy: same as above

- Big Boy: with half-eaten apple in one hand, lying on the cool floor of our master bedroom

In-te-res-ting. A concept to get patented?

Zzz

I'm a sleepy person in that I need my 8 hours of sleep. Before having kids that was one of my worries about the prospect of having kids - how would I cope with the sleep deprivation?! Usually if you cut my beauty sleep, you'll face a cranky me. Now when I have kids and am sleep deprived by more than my son's age of 3.5 years... well, sure, I might be cranky (I don't know, ask my husband!!). But I feel I've managed much better than expected. Despite continually interrupted nights, I feel pretty much normal. And for further background info, my 8 month old son still wants feeding every 3 hours or so. So I haven't slept a full night in I have no idea how long. I think it's better not to head down that road and count... might lead to crankiness finally!! And there he is again, getting up to cry out for momma. So to cut this short, I think I have an extra dose of those newborn-mothering hormones that help. Or something.

Puzzle Bits

One of the few life advices I've received from my dad is: 'usually issues fall into place' ('yleensä asiat loksahtavat paikalleen'). Pretty much meaning that usually things end up working out all right. I tend to worry quite a bit, especially before anything actually happens. So my version of this above idea would be that 'often things work out, until they don't.' ;)

Anyway, I'm sure there's a whole lot of wisdom in these words but I haven't quite internalized this wisdom yet. However, there are times when it does feel like things come together in a surprising way, even in mundane spheres of life.

E.g. Two days ago I picked up a novel my mom gave me TWO years ago. At the time we were on holiday together but my son fell ill with a nasty ear infection so I didn't get a chance to start reading then. And somehow reading it got postponed, a lot (this tends to happen with me). Anyway, I picked it up 2 days ago and started reading and all of a sudden it feels like I'm supposed to read this book and I'm supposed to be reading it now. It's no master piece of world literature, just a simple diary-based book written by the wife of a contemporary Finnish author. But I'm really enjoying it! And I don't think I would have necessarily enjoyed it until now. Hm.

Second example. Today I finally talked with a woman I've seen frequently over the past year but for some reason we've never really interacted. It hasn't been a question of avoidance, at least from my part!, but somehow our schedules have been off so that we've merely crossed paths in acknowledgement of each other but in nearly mute acknowledgement. Well, today our paths crossed in a way that couldn't have been stylishly avoided (;) so we actually started to talk a bit. I knew her son's name, I knew her husband's name, but I had to admit to her I didn't remember hers. Half an hour later, though, we were talking like old(-ish) friends! She seems awesome! Yes, what a pity I 'interview' her already a year ago. But, again, I felt that this was the exact right time to have this talk with her. Today was the day we were supposed to talk. Hmm.

Go figure!

You Know You're Living in a Developing Country When...

...it's midnight and you notice a mosquito inside your mosquito net. You get up, turn the lights on, risk waking the kids up, and frantically attempt to squeeze the living daylights out of the puny insect. After squishing it with a sense of triumph you examine it to see whether it has striped legs or not (dengue fever spreading 'Tiger' or Aedes mosquito, or not) and whether it's stuffed with blood. Then you go back to sleep.

...you've been dealing with cool/cold showers and dishwater for a year only to hear from your next door neighbors that we actually should get hot water straight from the tap. Can it be true we get hot water? It can't be true... It IS true!! Turns out the faucet wasn't properly open. And we're called 'technical advisors,' here working in development.Hm, who is teaching who, I wonder...

Medical News

I read from today's Phnom Penh Post (online edition) that there's potentially workable vaccine now against dengue fever. Exciting news though it will probably come way too late for this year, again an exceptionally bad dengue year (last was in 2007).

PPP also reported on another medical update on the "mystery disease" of serious enterovirus 71, a virus that is now going around Cambodia and creating a bit of a panic here. Apparently the local children's hospital (Kantha Bopha) and the WHO are still arguing over the exact cause of this outbreak, proper treatment, and level of cause for concern. Go figure.

Politics of Gender

"Cultural stereotyping hinders women's involvement in politics," says Pich Srey Pho, a woman and a representative of the Cambodian People's Party in Cambodia's Pursat region.

In a recent Phnom Penh Post article (July 12), several politically active women shared about their experiences in the "unwomanly" world of politics.

Although the Cambodian Millennium Development goals state that by 2015 25% of commune seats should be attained by women, only 18% of seats are assigned to women this year.

One of the interviewed women became politically active after witnessing the land grabbing that plagues Cambodia today. Another woman says her husband asked her to stay at home but she went ahead and got involved with a party nonetheless. Her marriage soon ended.

Balancing political aspirations and domestic expectations is clearly challenging, with culture also weighing on the scale.

Great News for Cambodian Women

Amidst all the negative and worrying news these days (European financial crisis, enterovirus 71 epidemics here in the Mekong region, mass shooting in Colorado killing 12 and wounding even a 3-month old baby...), a gem of a story.

The WHO recently reported that maternal mortality has dropped by two thirds in c. 20 years. Pieter Van Maaren, WHO Representative to Cambodia, says that “Cambodia deserves enormous credit for its tremendous reduction of the number of women who die in or soon after childbirth.” 


Today in Cambodia:


- 60% of families have TVs
- 60% of all Cambodians have mobile phones
- more than 50% of families own motorbikes


Hence better access to health education and services.


In 2000 only 39% of pregnant women had antenatal check-ups with a health-care provider. Now about 90% do. Now c. 70% of deliveries are assisted by a trained midwife. Nearly 60% of babies are born in a health facility.


Whereas before nurses could choose to specialize in midwifery, this year marked the first graduation of a three-year midwifery program. The Cambodian Ministry of Health has even set up an ingenious system of financial incentives for every live birth at a health center, with the birth attendant receiving a USD 10-15 bonus.


Unfortunately for many families these medical advances come too late. It saddens me to share that only weeks ago the wife of one of our local colleagues died after giving birth to their first child. She died at a health center, albeit in one of Cambodia's remotest towns. Sometimes tragedy strikes, changing the course of even the youngest of lives. But, if it's any consolation to the grieving family, fewer fathers and newborns, grandparents and loved ones, have to go through the same in Cambodia today.

"Write Everyday..."

"even if it is just a paragraph." Advise given by one of my favorite authors, Michael Connelly. Hence it's time to break my 2 month (!!) long silence here and try to do just that, write at least one paragraph.

What's kept me busy these 8 or so weeks? Two transcontinental flights with two little guys, getting settled into and out of a variety of places and time zones. In this time period, my hubby's had a knee operation, my baby's learned to pull himself forward at a daily increasing speed (including off the bed), my first-born has started piano lessons, our dog's had mites, and, among a long list of big and small turns of events, I've suffered two migraines (maybe due to all of the above!).

Srill waiting for a greater verbal inspiration to hit. But paragraph, done.

Ps. Read Connelly! Bosch rules.

Pinterest

Check out Kupura on Pinterest!

I have now started a Pinterest board and I couldn't be much more excited! After the first 30 minutes it feels like pinning visual things is one of the most relaxing things to do when the kids are finally in bed for the night. What cool things I've found already... Hope you get inspired a bit too!

Young Criminal Minds

I also came across another thought-provoking article in The New York Times. In "Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?", the writer looks into families with a severe problem, a child who seems cold, unpredictable, manipulative, mean, and even violent. Basically "off the walls." Through a follow-up with such a child and family, the writer asks how early children behaving so "wrongly" can be diagnosed with something resembling psychopathy, if not with that stigmatizing word itself. In studies of psychopathic adults, many have been reported as having been extremely antisocial as children. So logically one would assume that spotting such kids early on, and helping them, would prevent their harmful misdoings later on. Although current studies show that c. 1% of any given population is psychopathic/sociopathic, more than 25% of crime is done by individuals with such a psychological profile. But do counseling camps for callous-unemotional kids help, or do they actually give the kids new bad ideas even if providing useful data for psychotherapy research? The case of "Michael" makes one wonder. This is a highly interesting article for anyone to read but especially for parents. Although it's good to keep a check on our kids and their habits by making sure they don't show any symptoms of bullying, I'm going to go to bed tonight feeling grateful for my peacefully sleeping boys. Toddlers can be quite a handful, already showing little flashes of what may come when the teenage years arrive, but usually temper tantrums come and go, are only phases that to some extent need to be experienced, and can be forgiven and forgotten at the end of the day with lots of hugs and kisses. And this article, ultimately, confirms that there is no harm of attachment, nurture, and care for even the most difficult of cases. Xo.

Eriksen's Site

When I started this blog I mentioned one online discussion I'm going to look into is the recent commentary on ethnicity in Norway by renowned Norwegian anthropologist Thomas Hylland Eriksen. Since I met with my Norwegian friend earlier this week and talked a bit about the ongoing trial in Oslo I thought I should at least write something about this topic this week. I read Eriksen's summary of all the articles he's written about Breivik's attacks in the past year. And then I read an article called "A Blogosphere of Bigots," written together with Jostein Gaarder and published in The New York Times. Since Eriksen is a well-known researcher of ethnicity, nationalism, and cultural diversity he was in a position to provide educated analysis of the Utoya killings from day one. Labelled "cultural marxist," "spineless multiculturalist," and "nihilistic cultural relativist" by rightwing extremists and Islamophobic nationalists, he himself has been the target of "unpleasant attacks" for several years. In short, he warns that the power of loosely-bound and internet-connected anti-Islamists are a worse threat to Norwegian society than Islamic extremists since focus has been on tracking the latter while not taking the former seriously enough. He points out that it is a challenge to even track who these blogging bigots are and what they have in mind. Today social media plays many roles.

Gay Dads

I recently read a review of the Ruth Benedict Prize winning "Gay Fatherhood: Narratives of Family and Citizenship in America" (Lewin 2009). I have no experience with this issue at all in that I don't believe I know a single gay dad (single or not). Hence an interesting topic to look into. According to the review, this ethnography looks at the way kinship and affinity are defined when two contradictory-seeming identities meet, being gay as well as fathers. In the States, the political Right is no supporter of gay parenting but, at the same time, the Left voices opinions that gay dads fall into the heteronormative ideal and assimilate. Can men who become dads still be queer, according to the subcultural definition? Lewis explores "how genetic information can be interpreted in creating a family" and legibility among the general public validate the forming of this family unit. Interestingly, while some fathers feel less gay since fatherhood leads them into normative adulthood, other fathers feel more gay since having a child brings forth questions of lifestyle choices, parenting beliefs, and genetic as well as social inheritance.

http://thewillsadopt.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/interesting-article-on-yahoo-today/saferedirect-11/

When to Intervene?

An expatriate friend recently shared that she had witnessed a domestic abuse case next door. It was evening, she was washing the dishes, and suddenly horrible screaming started. She could hear several women and kids yelling out of fear and she could also hear sounds like a whip lashing. Since it's a building site next door, where this was taking place, she could actually see two women huddled together. Unsurprisingly, my friend said the experience was highly disturbing. What do you do? When do you intervene? What's the best action to take, especially in a country that's not your own?

Their response was that her husband went out to find out into the street to see what was happening, and to ask other neighbors what should be done. There was already a small crowd gathered outside the building site gate and several people tried to peer in through slots in the gate. But, they said there was nothing more they could do. Except be curious with degrees of worry, peer in, wait. Apparently there was no reason to call the police since they wouldn't do anything anyway. And apparently it was 'the old way of domestic life,' i.e. wife and/or child beatings have been very common since it was the man's way of, literally, putting his foot down. And apparently these were 'poor country folk' who didn't know better. Hm. What would you have done in this situation? How would you have acted if it happened next door to you, in the West? How about in a foreign country?

This reminds me of our house hunting when we were moving to the Cambodian countryside ourselves. We'd found a potential house but before making enquiries we were quietly warned that there's a (domestically) abusive man in the next house over. They would have been the only neighbors on that street. We were told it 'might not be nice' to live next to that family 'but it could quiet down the beating.' So, would our presence have stopped the abuse since it would have been so shameful for this family to have their low points witnessed by a bunch of foreigners? I don't know. It could have literally quieted down the abuse, i.e. it would have continued but not that loudly. How do you stop abuse from the outside anyway? And what would you do if spine-chilling sounds like these started regularly - I for one would under no circumstances want my boys to hear that. What would it do to them? So, pick up your own bags and move? Or hope for the best and 'shame' abusers out silently?

One Way to Become a Parent

Of course I'd heard about donating eggs for fertilization but I never knew exactly what this meant in practice, i.e. how it actually happens. I came across a parenting blog where the mom had just donated and here's her account (free translation):

"Eleven opportunities

The morning began with 5 mg Diapam. A couple of tubes of blood were drawn for my arm for the freezing of the eggs. Pain killers straight into the vein. An operation lasting a few minutes, no pain. 11 eggs taken. Drowsy wakeup after pain meds. A cup of coffee, juice box, 2 crackers, 2 chocolate cookies. Meeting with doctor. In and out in a couple of hours. Someone to pick me up due to drowsiness. Sick leave for the rest of the day.

12 days of morning shots, 1 meeting with psychologist, 4 meetings with doctor, ,1 angiography, follow-up check up."

Interesting. Sounds physically tough and I've heard before that it can actually be quite painful as well. But, donating an egg, not to mention 11 eggs, can mean the beginning of a new life, a new family. 

I have to say, on a bit of a side note, that I admire women who take nesting into their own hands, and well wombs. Instead of waiting for Prince Charming to the extent of desperations as the years pass and candidates fail, instead of bitterly feeling the biological clock tick a tock too many, these women become parents of their own accord. When they are ready, they become mothers. Of course it's not that straight forward but simply put I admire women who've adopted a child or children on their own, or gotten fertilized whichever way. I know one woman who is moaning because of her empty nest - the nest is there but it's never yet been filled. I wonder if such a leap of faith would be her path - becoming a parent on her own?

ps. Pihalla Kotona may just become one of my favorite blogs... I found this entry so true as well! Hilarious :D

Mother's Day, Mother's Night

Happy Mother's Day all you moms out there! Really is true: best job in the world. Not the easiest, though ;) My Mother's Day was a Do It Yourself one with hubby still away (how long is a week anyway??). Last night I fell asleep planning all the nice options out there for spending this day. It brought a smile just thinking about what me and the boys could do as a special treat but at the same time I realized the 'fun' needed to balanced out with 'practicality' and hence I decided to continue thinking about this the following morning. Practicalities can easily dampen the mood a bit. Yes, it was time to call it a night when I started leaning towards the highlight of Mother's Day being a trip to the supermarket and back...! That's life in the suburbs alright when a trip downtown ends up being a grocery run. Well, I still wouldn't have it any other way and that was again literally brought home tonight when our next door neighbors popped in for a quick hello, evolving into dinner together. Especially while I've been single-parenting with hubby away traveling (Chengdu's panda reserve today, of all places!!), the rest of us have been getting the best out of suburban living. Fresh air every day. Peaceful strolls outside admiring beautiful butterflies, squished frogs, and fresh puddles. Morning splashes at the communal swimming pool. And most important of all, true neighborhood spirit! Now I know why many people strive for a 'village atmosphere' even in places like downtown Manhattan. It's not just knowing your neighbors, by face and perhaps even by name but actually knowing them. Seeing your kids play together every day. Being able to turn to them when you need someone to watch your kids for a bit. Someone who checks up on you when they know your baby's been sick. This past week two different neighbors brought over food, one of them full dinner - twice! Another mom and daughter dropped in for unscheduled playtime. So this is what people mean by the village raising kids together...!

Bedtime in Bali

So that was pretty much how Mother's Day was for me today: lots of cuddles, a couple of walks, some swimming, food shared with neighbors, phone call from panda-encountering husband, dishwashing at least 5 times, diaper changing countless times, some reprimands for deviant 3 year old's behavior, a thunder storm, cartoons, Donald Duck, skype call to my mom, blogging, drawn-out bedtime again, now gorgeous little boys sleeping. Never did make it to town, even to the supermarket. Never even made it to the shower, hence yucky greasy hair. But, it's 9:30 pm and this means Mother's Night! Nope, not going to get to do what some of my mom friends here did which was go out and get pampered together, sans kids. Massage and dinner. Jealous!! But not really. There's always time for that but these cuddly-baby moments really do go so incredibly quickly. My eldest is already 3.5 years and even baby is turning SIX MONTHS this week...!! No more newborn... So, the best mother's night for me is this: watching my boys sleep, now take that long overdue shower and actually wash this teenagy hair, watch a bit of tv, check out nice blogs (like mine ;) on the internet, munch on a bit of chocolate, relax, dream of nice things to do tomorrow...

Good night.

How to Get Kids to Sleep

Here's the easy way: provide enough activity, then refreshments, and a cozy place to lie down. I could join Baby anytime there! In this particular photo, the setup was a bit more luxurious than usual... 4 star resort on the beach, with an infinity pool there in the background ;) Usually, fun in the sun will be a sure nap-inducer, just remember to cover up or stay away from the hottest rays and stay hydrated.

Another interesting nap-inducing method is to jump in the angreng (hammock), which are incredibly popular here in Cambodia. Go anywhere out of town and in any scenic spot you'll find tens or even hundreds of hammocks, shaded by thatch roof huts, ready to be rented. 

Or then you can try the traditional, kids-are-looking-super-sleepy-this-will-be-easy-so-let's-minimize-the-effort-and-let-them-sleep-in-my-bed routine. Not necessarily recommended as it's not a sure way for  the Sandman to sprinkle sleeping sand, trust me on this. Recently I've been proud of having mastered this method to the extent that I've had both boys asleep BY 7:30 pm, on many nights even in a row! But. Today. It was only 5 pm and both kids looked beaten, they were so tired. Both had (very unfortunately) woken up at 6 am this morning, one was feverish, and the other just tired and maybe getting a cold himself. Anyway, I thought, what better than ignore the fact that it's still in fact afternoon and light outside and put the boys to bed now, sooner rather than later. So we did all the routines and all climbed in the master bed, all nice and pajamad-up. We did storytelling, singing lullabies with my hoarse/non-existent voice. We did #2 night snack. #3 night snack. Breastfeeding countless times. We watched a bit of American Idol because yours truly was getting a bit desperate by 7 pm with no sleepy boys no longer in sight. Bad idea since JLo's 'Dance' performance got Big Boy so excited he too started dancing his socks off! The most hilarious sight! He was actually pretty good, getting me to think he's got an eye for picking up choreography - maybe time to sign him up for dance classes just like his best buddy (a boy as well). Anyway, finally the boys fell asleep at 8:30 pm. At the same time, which was impressive but also a bit strange. What got them to finally fall asleep? A random big boy-selected Chinese pop concert! With subtitles in Chinese for home karaoke ops for those of us character literate (none of us though I can pick out a word here, word there). I have to admit it was nice and soothing! Should find out who this Chinese Idol was...

Bits and Bobs

Baby got his second tooth yesterday!

This week big boy has been proud of himself for having learned to say 'kettu' (fox) instead of the old twisted-toddler-tongue 'tekku.'

The way I communicate with my husband while he's traveling abroad is a bit complicated. I receive his text messages from Finland, China, or wherever, but since I'm unable send any to his Finnish mobile operator I have to send my messages to him first to my mom, in Finland, who then passes them on to wherever my husband is. Talk about possible censorship! ;)

How do you know when your kid has watched too many cartoons? When he asks if mosquitos can suck out bones along with blood. How do you know when you yourself have watched too many zombie movies or episodes of The Walking Dead? When you start to wonder the same... (Which is why I don't watch them, zombie movies, nutty cartoons, or eating mosquitos.)

I found this interesting blog written by a Helsinki-based mom of thirteen. In one entry she calculates that they spend more than 4800 euros a year on: milk. Thirteen kids drink a lot of milk, daily. I think it was like 10 liters a day... When I told this to our local nanny/helper her expression was worth a hundred, no wait - 4800 bucks ;)

I was going to end this blog here but I just have to point out I find an fascinating anthropological link here - I mention both blood and milk. Victor Turner wrote a classic ethnography on Ndembu symbolism, The Forest of Symbols (1967), in which he looks at liminality, the ritual passage from one socio-physical state to the next (e.g. birth, initiation, death), and how it is entwined with color symbolism (e.g. red for blood, white for milk)... So as random as my little anecdotes here may seem - just as I promised in my title, I may ramble but it's not that random!!

Good night.

Ndembu

Lazing about

The new head of Finland's Government Institute of Economic Research (Vatt), Juhana Vartiainen, has called home-parenting "lazing about" (velttoilu). He says, "all of us find it nice to be home but does this lovely lazing about need to be funded with taxpayers' money for as long as three years" (my translation). In Finland, parents are eligible for a child care benefit (kotihoidontuki) to look after child/-ren under the age of three. There's been a lot of debate about this benefit lately, whether it's too costly for society, whether it's even beneficial for small kids, whether it's actually negative or even detrimental to women's careers, etc. I myself have been on child care leave and withdrawn this benefit for about 9 months last year. The reason for us was primarily based on our belief that home care was the best care for our elder son at that age (2 to 2.5 years old) and in practice influenced by the fact that we lived in the countryside of one of the world's least developed countries where other childcare options were limited (nannies/au pairs hired elsewhere) or even non-existent (kindergartens). So for us it was the perfect choice, and, well, the only choice. We were thankful such a small but significant financial support system exists.

Mondulkiri scenes, Cambodia

What the Fuss is About

With hubby traveling for work again and two out of three of us home folks sick again, I haven't had much time to blog, google, or interneticate (my new term for communicating via the internet). As I haven't really done a broad search for this topic I'm about to present it's fair to say this topic has bluntly popped up in the news recently. Women's appearance. "What is the whole fuss about???", I want to shout out! Come on, is it headline news in this day and age that Hillary Clinton gave a public speech wearing only lipstick?! With her hair down?! Seriously. When did lipstick stand for no make-up anyway Instead of the newsworthy point being that she doesn't have to care about her appearance as much anymore since she already lost the last presidential race, why not simply point out the fact that she looks great at this given date and time. For a 64 year old. Woman. No, let me rephrase even that. Why isn't the point on what she actually had to say? Jeez. Now, if the focus has to be, for some bizarre reason, on her looks, why not just say that she looks good, as she does. For a person in her position, moreover. Think of Mr. President Clinton back in the not-so-good-old days when he metamorphosized into a gray-haired old man with sunken eyes. Not a good look for anyone, male or female.

Another body fuss article I found even more interesting. One of the Finnish daily tabloids put together a pictorial of "Brave mothers who reveal their bellies: My body after birth - see photos" (my translation). I have to admit these mom's, though only belly-full and faceless in the pictorial, are rather brave since 6 months after my latest birthing experience I'm still rather sensitive with my own belly. Of course this tabloid presents these tummies in a somewhat sensationalist manner, i.e. the point is to gawk at the horrid stretch marks ripped across wobbling gastro-cellulite. Not cool, I say. I'm a woman and mom with wobbles and ripples around my own bellybutton, with enough of both for my 3 year old to ask what was it I had instead of a bellybutton (since it's pretty much disappeared, lost its former shape) and whether the "cuts" on my hips hurt when they happened. So I'm the first to admit I could join in the semi-freak show, no problem. But, as a woman with baby-damage I both agree those women were brave and that some of those bellies were amazing - visibly untouched by all the belly squirming, believe it or not. Looking deeper into the issue though, again, what is the fuss all about? Is it yet again so newsworthy that most women do not gestate and pop out babies unscathed? Personally, having experienced two beautiful and non-traumatic births, I'm amazed that my body doesn't show more of what these two amazing but chunky 4kg+ baby boys rummaged in me. Physical healing is an awesome process. So what if I'm not going to sport that bikini this summer?! I wouldn't change these stretch marks for the world since they are signs of the best that's ever happened to me - well, not the stretching and tearing but why I stretched and tore, my irreplaceable boys. Sure, I'd love to have that toned flat-yet-muscular belly that I can see some mom's have been blessed to get back (I never had it in the first place!). But what does it say about our culture that post-pregnancy bellies still have shock value? Honestly, I think here we have a lot to learn from cultures where bellies are not shunned be they Western model-value or not. Think of India and how saris show off all kinds of tummies, in a beautiful way I might add. Well, I'm an anthropologist so it goes with the job to promote variable bellies and distant cultures ;)

More seriously, though, I find it a bit sad that the female body is still so socially repressed that AnnaLynne McCord's make-up free twitter face was the center of Hollywood Gossip. At least in this case the fuss had a good point.

Keeping Children Fed

The new State of the World's Mothers report has just come out. Apparently the best country in the world for mothers is... Norway. Unfortunately, the worst place is Niger. Finland came sixth for mothers and women but only 19th for children. Cambodia also ranked sixth for mother but for the least developed countries. Their women ranked third and children thirteenth.

I always knew breastfeeding is both wonderful and important but I didn't know that it could prevent a million child deaths each year... It is, in fact, the single most effective nutritional intervention for saving lives! In developing countries, breastfed babies have a 6 times better chance of survival than non-breastfed babies.

I didn't know that as many as 171 million children, a total of 27% of all children worldwide, are permanently stunted due to malnutrition. Cambodia is one of the thirty countries that have the worst rates of stuntedness, more than 40% of all children under 5. The direct global cost of malnutrition is c. USD 20-30 billion per year. Malnutrition causes more than 2.6 million child deaths per year. Horrific numbers. I don't know what else to write.

Breastfeeding combined with solid foods after 6 months of age would cut rates of stuntedness at 12 months by 20%...!

Cambodia is actually doing pretty well on this with 74% of mothers breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months (whereas in Finland only 50-60%). In fact, Cambodia is the world's 15th fastest country in the fight against child malnutrition.

More than 2 million mothers and babies could be saved each year by promoting and using the 'lifesaving six': iron folate, breastfeeding, complementary feeding, Vitamin A, zinc, and hygiene. This simple solution costs only USD 20 per child for the first 1000 days...! Yet more than half the world's children do not yet have access to this lifesaving package.

Simple Ways to Save Premies

I read an interesting report today on premature babies and their care. Did you know that  c. 15 million premature babies are born each year?

The sad news is that 1.1 million of these newborns die during or soon after birth and many of those who survive have serious disabilities. Although the majority of the world's premies are born in the Third World, half a million premies are born in the United States, more than eight times the rate than in the rest of the developed world. Why? I didn't know but nearly half of U.S. pregnancies are unplanned. Also uninsured American women may join prenatal care late or not at all, and women whose pregnancies are not monitored have statistically higher rates of preterm birth. Other issues increasing the risk of premature births worldwide are elective inductions and C-sections, a multiple pregnancy, pregnancy at a young or late age, being overweight or underweight, spacing pregnancies less than 2 years apart, smoking, diabetes, high blood pressure, and infections. One aspect I've noticed is that many Western women are very keen to give birth 'on time,' i.e. preferably on the expected date of delivery or, even better, before. If the due date is approaching and nothing seems to be happening, women resort, and are encouraged by other mothers young and old, to proactively try to induce labor themselves (e.g. walking, cleaning, sitting in the sauna, having sex, and even drinking castor oil). Or just sign up for an elective C-section beforehand (in Finland easier said than done, though)! I totally agree with March of Dimes epidemiologist Christopher Howson that 'a healthy baby is worth the wait'!!

Regarding premies the good news is that there are simple ways to save babies that are born too soon, i.e. before the 38th week of pregnancy (WHO definition). Whereas in the West extreme premies that are born before 28 weeks have an approximate 50/50 chance of survival, in the developing world "being born too soon is an unrecognized killer" (Joy Lawn, Save the Children). This research discovered that an African baby is more than 12 times more likely to die from prematurity than a European baby. What I did not know is that besides being the leading cause of death for newborns worldwide, prematurity is also the second-leading cause of death in children under 5. In his introductory statement, the United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon calls for action as 3/4 of premie deaths could be prevented by simple measures. Among these guidelines:

- providing USD1 steroid shots during preterm labor to hasten the development of immature fetal lungs (almost 400 000 babies a year could be saved this way!)

- teaching 'kangaroo care' through which babies are provided skin-to-skin contact with their mothers (even  babies weighing a mere 900 g have been reported to thrive from this method alone!)

- providing antibiotics and antiseptic cream to fight infections, e.g. of the umbilical cord